Acceptance + EvolutionPosted: March 13, 2013
Acceptance makes people nervous. We are taught that we should somehow push against it. Don’t accept being overweight according to whoever’s standards, or a lackluster career or a not-so-great husband. For the most part, I agree. What we tend to neglect is that we cannot evolve without acceptance. To know who you want to be next you must accept who you were and who you are now. How do you feel about this version of yourself?
It took me accepting that I wanted a more adventurous life to start living around the world and working for myself as a lifestyle designer and consultant. Realizing that I wanted to be passionate about people and for people to be passionate about me, meant picking
new better friends and lovers. Acceptance allows me to see past people’s skin color, religion and socioeconomic level to the humanity and God in them.
I have not completely surrendered to acceptance but I’ve made the decision to take the first step; facing my humanity. Most recently this has meant accepting my hair and my body. A lot of people that know me would think that I have always accepted these things but I have not, not fully at least.
This is not going to be a long narrative about the black women’s hair struggle and how important it is. What it is, is a short version of my hair story. Locks, braids, weaves of all colors, I’ve had and loved them all for unique reasons.
In 2010 I chopped my hair off and was probably the most comfortable and confident I’ve ever been. I think at the time I thought it was one of my experimental moments. After three years and many whole hearted attempts to somehow have the awesomeness that is Tracee Ellis Ross’ hair, I have accepted my own. My hair is thin, soft and curly. Whenever I grow it out it is without fullness and I always end up putting extensions in for body. So, no more growing it. I’ve come to peace with my eternal fade; I am my best here. I’ll throw some braids or weave in when I get bored.
As for my body, that story is tad bit more complicated. Oh, me and my body have been through it. From producers and managers trying to starve a thick West African woman into a size 4 to uncertainty in life and emotional eating that has taken me into a size 12.
I have to put a stop to the madness.
I am a curvy, pear shaped woman and like India and much of South America that is accepted in my West African culture, in fact it is celebrated. Lucky me! This does not mean I get to go search for the closest Krispy Kreme hot sign. What it does mean is accepting my body and focusing on the positives of it. Some of those being;
– People who carry their weight in their lower bodies have a lower risk of heart diseasse.
– Child birth is going to be that much easier
– If I play my health cards right I get to be in the company of some great examples of healthy (and sexy if I may add) pear shaped ladies like Beyonce, Jennifer Love Hewitt and my ultimate girl crush Salma Hayek.
Over the last few months my sense of style has been changing due to my personal growth and some weight gain. Even though, I’ve been able to conceal this discomfort for most evening and major events, by day I’ve found myself navigating the streets of Monrovia and Atlanta in tights, hoodies and some ill fitting pieces as a whole. My apologies, guys. I have now dived into the ultra chic world of girls with pear shapes and fades. It’s kind of awesome here.
I’ve grown into a new and deeper acceptance of myself allowing me to evolve once again.
Now it is time to set up healthy standards of living regardless of where this adventurous life takes me and find ways to stay healthy regardless of my emotional state.
It’s also time to do a lot of shopping! We’ll call that the silver lining. Wishing you all peace within…