I’ll be gone til (Sept)emberPosted: May 15, 2013
Today is my last day in the United States for a while. Although, I’ll be back shortly this farewell feels different. The last time I left the US there was a feeling of nervousness but it was overwhelmed by the excitement of the unknown and hidden by the assurance that if after four months I did not like Liberia I would just leave and resume my life in America.
This time is different. This anxiousness has none of those things to conceal it. I know very well what I’m returning to & after the weeks I’ve spent here I’m certain that I do not want to live in the States the way I used to.
I think this anxiousness has everything to do with expectations. The expectations from others is there but isn’t nearly as high as the expectations that I hold myself to. As a Virgo, my tendency to be over critical can sometimes be paralyzing, so with 24 hours left in the country I’ve decided to take a page out of the Silver Linings Playbook (great movie by the way) & find the positives in every negative.
Case in point, upon arrival to the States I had this laundry list of things to do and purchase while here. I used to laugh at my friends for trying to import America to Liberia on their visits via their purchases and experiences but here I was doing the same thing. Part of traveling is having a genuine experience elsewhere. I am reading Vagabonding by Rolf Potts (review to follow) and one of the first things he discusses is letting go of the plan.
This is super difficult for me. I love my plans! However, at a certain point you have to let life happen. I may not have seen every neighborhood, bought every item on my list, paid every debt and filed every piece of paperwork perfectly. However, I started a company that encompasses all my talents and passions that is actually sustaining my life, had memorable nights with good people, let go of unhealthy love and added a well of knowledge and experience to my life that is helping me build my empire, appreciate all that I own and most importantly be more balanced, happy and free.
In the end I will always return to my favorite mantra. “My only job is to be diligent and positive and the Universe will always have my back.”
To all of you that welcomed me in your home, celebrated life with me, held my hand as I cried and continue to support my life & freedom. I thank you.
“I’ll be gone til (Sept)ember…”